I have taken these couple of days of relative “no change” to fly home to be with my ever-so-generous husband who has supported and encouraged me through this entire time. I will return to Asheville on Monday night or Tuesday morning, as flights, weather, and Susan’s needs/wants allow. I know she is being loved and supported in every minute, and I can take a little time at home to touch base and renew my own grounding to bring it back freshly revived for my dear Susan.
Susan has not been allowed to eat anything since entering the hospital on January 6th. Yes, she is getting nutrituion via an NG tube (Naso-Gastric), and some other IV supplementation, but nothing that lands on the taste buds! She is supposed to pass a swallow test before that can be allowed, as they don’t want her to accidentally aspirate any liquid or food into her lungs, which would NOT be a good thing. However, yesterday Susan got quite an unexpected treat! Several of us were standing around her bed talking about food-ish things, and speculating on when we might be able to bring up a bit of a juice bar treat, or a little smoothie that she would enjoy. We were hoping it would be fairly soon. Right as we were talking about it, her nurse came in with a little container of applesauce … and said Susan could have a little bit of it. She felt that Susan was doing so well with some talking, has a strong, productive cough, and tolerated occassional ice chips well that it would be OK to have just a little apple sauce. Honestly, you’d think she’d brought in a gift from the Maji the way Susan responded! She was so grateful, and savored small, slow spoonfuls. You could watch Susan transform right in front of us … she blossomed and the very act of eating seemed to bring a deepened sense of Life into her.
Yet sometimes the things we savor most are short lived. 😦 I got this from Miss Kathleen today:
Suz flunked swallow test due to her weakness so we got busted today 😁. She’s good with it. I’m hanging out in her room.
What I am amazed at is how easily Susan seems to “go with the flow”, and that is such a powerful lesson for me. “Oh, a little applesauce treat? Lovely. Ahh soooo. “Oh, no more applesauce for now? So be it. Ahh soooo.” We could all use a little more “Ahh sooo” in our lives, yes?
Another update from Kathleen, a bit earler in the day while I was flying home to Rochester:
Update for 1/24: Susan is better by the day. Heart pump is being very slowly turned down to let her heart take over. She is quite weak but hanging in there and getting stronger. Please keep love and prayers coming. It takes a village and Suz has a pretty darn good one on her team. ❤️ Kathleen
So, here we all are, in this dance together, loving, singing, caring, being, letting life unfold in the moment and in the larger scheme of things. We am so very grateful for each and every one of you “out there”, checking in, leaving messages, giving tributes, signing the guestbook. It is all part of the healing journey … for Susan and for all sentient beings.
Hands palm to palm